… I’m not sure this post needs much more of an introduction other than this beautiful image of my 16 year old rotund self.
I’ve spent much of my life with half of a face, hidden behind my thick heavy fringe that relished in turning to ringlets whenever just a cloud appeared in the sky. Looking back at old photos for this post was so funny, there’s nothing better than reminiscing over photos that feel like they were taken a lifetime ago. Perusing through them and remembering life as my younger self did make me consider what I’d advise myself now I have some hindsight and, dare I say it, a bit of wisdom…
1. SORT. OUT. YOUR. HAIR.
2. Worry less. When real life strikes – bills, rent, tax, full time work – you’ll worry enough then
3. It’s fine to be one of the last of your friends to get nakey with a boy. Sure beats losing the V in KFC’s disabled toilet like that girl
4. Stop standing in front of the mirror in your underwear feeling sad whilst eating a family-sized bar of Dairy Milk (just enough for one person, no?)
5. And on a similar note – don’t compare your body to others. Big boned is actually a thing, you can’t be a size 6 too (holla at my 5ft 10 crew)
6. Ringing your eyes with black eyeliner is not a good look. You hated your mum when she told you to take it off before school, describing it as looking like ‘piss holes in the snow’ – I still don’t know what that means, but it’s probably true
7. The first heartbreak is the worst and no words can help. Bottle that memory and remember it when you have your own kids so you can be the best mumma ever
8. Friends are 4EVA, boys are WHATEVER
9. Wearing festival bands on your wrist for years is just so so unhygienic. Stop trying to cling onto them by rubbing them with soap in the bath
10. Pretty much everything your parents say to you is true. You get to an age when it just clicks and you’ll probably end up repeating the same things to your children
11. Don’t cry over anyone who wouldn’t cry over you
12. Realise you have a weight problem when you can eat a large Domino’s and not be full (re fresher self again…)
13. People who make your relationship one way aren’t worth it. If you’re always the one making the effort to chat and catch up, clearly they aren’t bothered about you
14. Just because you’re tall, doesn’t make kitten heels okay. Kitten. Heels. Are. Not. Okay.
15. Be happy in the moment instead of constantly striving for happiness eg ‘I’ll be happy if I get this job with this salary with this flat with this boy’. Just enjoy the times you really are simply happy
16. Stop moaning you’re poor and then go to WHSmith and buy £20 worth of magazines (still applicable)
17. Treat others how you want to be treated – one of the biggest cliches, but you can’t moan if someone lies to you if you’ve lied to them, if you’re shocked at someone being a bitch when you’ve just been slagging off a passer-by or if you moan about hating fake people when you hate the person you’re chatting to. Logic guyz
18. Don’t accidently send a moany text about a boy to the boy in question *facepalm*
19. Whilst we’re on the subject of phones – alcohol + phone = just no. If you’re not messaging people you shouldn’t be or dropping your phone in your £1.50 vodka mixer, you’ll be taking grim sweaty photos in the toilet which you’ll immediately upload with a shit caption like ‘omggggg best night ever in liquid woooo wooooo’
20. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end. I genuinely believe that. Apart from this list… It is the end… And it’s not okay *sheds tear*
PS. While I have your attention, I am currently laptop-less (writing this at work, naughty) which is why my usual flurry of posts are temporarily on hold, hopefully just until the weekend!