The six men of Tinder

tinder dating app opinion thoughts

Whether you’re as free as a bee, keeping your options open or are absolutely gagging for it, it seems like EVERYONE has Tinder these days. Tinder, in case you don’t know, is a dating app linked to Facebook which generates photos of other users in your area. You swipe left on a profile if you don’t like the look of them or swipe right if you fancy a bit. If the other person likes you too, you ‘match’ and can then message each other.

The concept is clever, I suppose, if you’re into speaking to strangers and are brave enough to meet up with them. Since a young age it has always been drilled into me that speaking to strangers on the internet is bad bad bad and in the back of my mind, I am still very sceptical and think it’s all just a bit seedy. Nonetheless, on one cold winter’s evening, my curiosity peaked and I downloaded the app against my better judgement.

Straight away, I could see that there were A LOT of guys in my vicinity coming up, many of whom I recognised and a few I knew to have partners which hardly helped my scepticism. Since downloading the app, I have found that there are six distinct types of males users. I really wanted to use screenshots as examples but I don’t want to risk treading on anyone’s toes. Before reading, it may be worth noting that I am very cynical when it comes to this kind of thing…

1. The Gym Bunny

Tinder allows you to upload five photos on your profile. If every single photo on your profile is at the gym, taken in the mirror, covering your face and emphasising your steroid-pumped body, I am sceptical we are going to be able to converse about world politics. Similarly, if every photo is you doing some kind of sport, good for you buddy but can I see your face please?

2. Where’s Wally?

I find it absurd that people use group photos on this kind of thing – which one are you?! I often think guys with low self esteem use the method of using photos with good looking guys to pull girls in to view their profile. Sad perhaps, but that’s not what I’m here for honey.

3. The Creepy Creep

He lures you in with the smiley photos, you match, you go for conversation – penis. It would seem that some guys love their dangling parts more than anyone ever will and are completely obsessed with it. Spoiler: If you are one of those guys, no one is going to stick around for that. You’ll end up being that handsome silver fox who still lives alone when you get your bus pass.

4. The ‘I’m So Cute’ Guy

I’m sure that most males do have a sweet side but I’m sceptical of how genuine it is when every photo on a profile consists of you hugging a dog/child/elderly relative. No one is that nice, surely?

5. The Sleaze

I’m really confused as to why guys go to the effort of creating Tinder profiles, only to use photos of them with one specific female. Surely it’s obvious that’s giving off the wrong message? If it even is wrong, of course…


And finally, the rare breed…

6. The Genuinely Lovely Guy

Few and far between though they might be, if you match with someone you can talk to for hours without getting bored or perved on, you way be on to a winner ding ding ding!! Congratulations, you have won the game.

What are your experiences with dating apps?


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